More things I am learning as I get closer to the top of the hill...

I am more afraid of heights than I thought. I definitely prefer this side of hill.
After having 3 children, my bladder does not function like it once did. Coughing & sneezing are the enemies of my bladder.
Wrinkles are just “war wounds,” and No amount of wrinkle cream and moisturizer will help.
Grey hair will always look better on men than on women.
The older men get, the more distinguished they look. The older women get they begin to “show their age.” What’s wrong with this picture?
I cannot physically force my kids to fall asleep.
I do not need a lot of friends. I just need my best friend, and I so love her.
The relationships I have now are deeper than those I once had.
My mother is not near as stupid as I once thought.
You can still miss someone 10+ years after they pass away.
Presently, my children think I am the smartest, most wonderful Mom in the world. This will not be so in 3 years.
Sitting in a chair, behind a desk all day has a negative effect on one’s backside. When did they start making the bottoms of the chairs smaller???
40 is actually PAST middle-aged.
Having common sense is highly over-rated. It tends to take the fun out of life.
Geepers… I sure was a stupid teenager.
Being senile might have some advantages.
Senior moments are not just for “seniors.”
Sitting in a nursing home having someone care for every need might not be such a bad idea.
I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again, GRAVITY IS THE ENEMY!!!!

A Little Humor, a little sadness...

Yesterday morning, there was a Baptism at church. As Matt sat on my lap, I realized this was the 1st time she had ever seen one. Well, after the boy was baptized, Matt turned and whispered in my ear: "Why did he take a bath?" I thought I was going to fall out of the pew. LOL Later on in the service, she looks at me and says: "Momma, do I look pity (pretty)?" That one came from out of the blue. LOL

Now onto the sadness. Mag is the type of child that doesn't usually verbalize her feelings and thoughts (that's why she sees a counselor). She tends to keep them all bottled up inside of her. Then, when one thing happens that upsets her, it sends her over the edge, and we have a meltdown. Well, last nite we had a meltdown. She wishes she could see her Daddy more. She also realized that he has only seen her play softball ONE time. She said, I need a Daddy. Then, she tells me she wants a Daddy - one that she sees everyday. One that will hug her everyday when he gets home. One who wants to see her everyday. What's sad is, I do not think it necessarily has to be HER Daddy. Just someone who wants to be her Daddy.

I know I often miss being held and hugged by a man, but I never realized she missed that, too. The thought never crossed my mind that my children miss being held, hugged and loved everyday by a father. It makes me sad that I got wrapped up in my own longings, that I did not see theirs. This is not the first time this issue has been brought up. I try to explain to Maggie that God has that perfect person chosen for us, and we have to wait until He is ready for him to come into our lives. Ironically, I expect a 9 1/2 year old to be patient, when my patience is wearing thin. LOL

So, the question is: "How do I help her?" I am completely clueless on this one... I try my best to be both Mommy and Daddy, but I know they need more. They want that real father-figure. I so wanted to tell her that she can call on God as her father, but I know she is wanting the physical presence and closeness. I just did not have even an inkling on how to deal with this issue. All I could do was hold her, comfort her and tell her how glad I am that God loaned her to me. After all, our children are simply "Angels on loan from God."

You know you are standing at the top of the hill when...

I am heading "Over-The-Hill" this year. My best friend, will get there first, in February, and I will follow 4 months later. I am having a difficult time dealing with turning the big "4-0." However, as usual, I try to find the humor in it.

…To you, Salt ‘N Peppa is no longer just a 90’s rap duo, but the color of your hair;
…Your dream family car is no longer the Trans Am you said it would be when you were a teenager, but the ever-practical minivan;
…You feel for the sweet little old lady who has “fallen and [I] can’t get up,” and think having one of those devices is a good idea;
…It doesn’t matter how cute the shoes are, if they are not comfortable, you are NOT going to wear them;
…Laying down on the bed to zip your jeans is definitely NOT an option;
…Your hairstyle is no longer fashionable, but practical;
…You hear noises coming from different parts of your body, and never realized they were capable of such a thing;
…Your bras are no longer pretty, but functional, in order to help defy gravity;
…You think pretty panties are completely impractical;
…You cringe every time some young punk refers to you as “Ma’am;”
…Your dream man is no longer tall, dark and handsome, but easy on the eyes, gainfully employed, may (or may not) have hair and seems reasonably stable;
…You think President Bush is a rather nice-looking man, and not an old fart…

"I am blessed..."

"... I am blessed. From when I rise up in the morning, 'til I lay my head to rest..." It's so true. As down and lonesome as I get, I am constantly reminded that I am so blessed. I have three gorgeous kids, a wonderful mother, sweet brothers, a loving church family and so much more.

This Christmas, I was able to do slightly more for the kids. Then, I received a call from some friends at another church that were wanting to help a single mom - Me. I could not believe it. I told them just a little, and they went soooo wwwwaaayyy overboard. I went to the mailbox Christmas Eve morning, and someone had anonymously sent me a $50 Wal-Mart gift card. Then, as usual, I went to my best friend's parents' house for Christmas. I returned with 4 more presents per child. I cannot believe the blessings we receive, when I least expect them.

This was absolutely the best Christmas my kids have ever had. It gives me such joy to see how many people love us and care about us. Sometimes, I feel so undeserving. God constantly uses the people around me to remind me that He is here, and He cares. At times, it is overwhelming, and then, at other times, is it so subtle.

God truly sees each and every need and each and every want. He alway takes care of our needs, and at times also fulfills our wants. God truly is like our earthly father. Our earthly father's take care of our needs, and also fulfill some of our wants. We are all so blessed.

Bah, Humbug!

Okay, so I thought I would let you in on my thoughts with regard to Christmas music.

I am not very fond of it. Have you ever truly sat still and listened to the words of these songs? They are absolutely retarded! From the day after Thanksgiving, until the day after Christmas, I refuse to listen to my favorite station Christian station, they play Christmas music 24/7 for that month. UGH!!!! So, I am listening to streaming music from AFR (American Family Radio). However, I still get absolutely annoyed when they feel the need to throw in a Christmas song.

Think about the lines to “We Wish You a Merry Christmas…”

“Oh, bring us some Figgie pudding. Oh bring us some Figgie pudding.” What the heck is freakin’ Figgie pudding? Is that baby-talk for fig pudding? If so, who wants to eat that anyway. Besides, I think they sound a little demanding asking for it. "We won't go until we get some..." Can they say "Please?"

Also, think about “I’ll Be Home for Christmas.” “…please have snow and mistle toe, and presents on the tree.” Who the heck puts the flippin’ presents on the tree???

If the kid really did see “Mommy Kissing Santa Claus,” don’t you think he would have been traumatized, hated Santa, hated Christmas and possibly his mother? Besides, don’t you think he would have told his Dad, who then would have told him Santa Claus was not real? The kid would have been traumatized…

Now, what about "Deck the Halls?" I'm sorry, but I would prefer NOT to deck the halls with "boughs of holly." That stuff is pretty ding-dang prickly.

A bunch of lyrical geniuses…

Now, the traditional Christian Christmas songs, I LOVE! "Oh, Holy Night," "Silent Night," "Away in a Manger." Now those writers truly were lyrical geniuses...

Where is he???

So, I've been contemplating this dating thing - again. Can someone PLEASE tell me how/where/when a single Mother of 3 is supposed to find a nice, loving, CHRISTIAN man with morals and values?

I know God has that perfect man already chosen for me. I'm just getting really tired AND BORED waiting on him to arrive. I miss adult conversation (with someone besides my Mom). I miss having my own personal cheerleader, confidante and partner-in-crime. I miss having that person you have "inside jokes" with. That person who knows what your thinking. I miss the shoulder to cry on, the hand to hold. I miss the phone calls just because. I miss having that person that I can't wait to share my good news with, when I actually have some. I want that person that I KNOW I will be with for the rest of my life. I miss having that person that actually cares how my day was.

You must be wondering how I can be so lonesome with three kids to occupy my time. It's simple. Raising kids alone gives you plenty of time to be lonely. There is no one there to back you up on the discipline, there is no one there to bounce ideas off of, there is no one there to kiss ME goodnight. LOL At the end of the day, when they are all asleep, you realize you are there for everyone, but who is there for you???

So, if you see my Knight in Shining Armor, will you PLEASE tell him how to find me?????

Turkey Porn...

I thought I would share a little of the excitement I experiencced for Thanksgiving.

So, it's Thanksgiving morning, and I'm helping Mom cook. I get the pan and rack out for the turkey and begin to unwrap the bird. Imagine my surprise when I see this!!!! Not only was it camera worthy, but cell phone worthy, as well. LOL

I look at the bird... I look at Mom... We both look at the bird and go into absolute HYSTERICS. Then, I realize that the "wanker" (aka the neck) has to come out of the bird. So... I begin to pull. The ding-dang thing will not come out. I pull some more, and still no "wanker." I stick my hand up the turkey's butt, in an effort to break it free. Still... No luck. All the while, the "wanker" is beginning to thaw. By this point, I feel like I am molesting the turkey. It reminded me of the scene in the movie "Bachelor Party." Tom Hanks & his buddies sneak into the Chippendales club to pull a prank on his fiance's Mom. They have some dancer put his "thing" into a hot dog bun and watch from the side as she tries to pull it off the tray.

Next, I take the bird to the sink and begin running water through it's butt. It was sort of like giving it an enema. I then have to stink my hand back up it's rear end to pull the "wanker" out of the cavity. A couple of tugs and "VOILA!!!!!" I am standing in the middle of the kitchen holding onto the Porno Turkey's "wanker."

Obviously... I did not enjoy any baked turkey on Thanksgiving.