More things I have learned as a Mom:

There is always one more person living with you than you realize. That person is “Not Me,” and he/she seems to cause a LOT of trouble.

After spraying dog grooming spray in her hair, the 5 y/o will then ask if she is going to turn into a puppy.

Your anal retentive child will allow the dog to take a bite of his pizza.

The same anal retentive child thinks the dog’s water bowl must be filled from the kitchen faucet, not the one in the bathroom.

Just when you think you have caught up on the laundry – it is bath time. That means another 4 outfits that need to be washed.

The sock fairy tends to regurgitate all the socks he has eaten AFTER you have replenished the supply of socks.

If you cannot find a brush or ponytail holder, look in the box with the Barbies.

It may take you 3 hours to clean their room, but your children can destroy it in under 20 minutes.

Silence is NOT golden, it is PLATINUM!!!!

A trip to Wal-Mart alone is a mini-vacation.

The only time you can take a shower in peace is VERY early in the morning.

No one cares that you are sitting on the toilet. If they need to ask you something or need something out of the bathroom, they will just walk in.

Each child has that one shirt they tend to get dirtier than any other item of clothing they own.

Learn to pick your battles. If the 5 y/o insists on wearing hot pink sparkly shoes with socks with her green shirt, so be it.

Your youngest child will learn how to “work” their older siblings to get what they want.

Your older kids will spoil your youngest child more than you do.

“I can’t find it” is code for: I stood in the middle of the room and looked around. You need to come find it for me.

The best place to hide the remote controls to your TV is under the covers while making up your bed. (He,he,he – They still haven’t figured this one out.)

There will be times when you hide something from your kids, only to realize you also hid it from yourself. Six months later, and I still can’t find the basket with my haircutting stuff.

I have kids, therefore it is NOT necessary for me to grow up.

Your kids sporting events are a great way to socialize with other adults.

You can have 3 kids from the same 2 parents, and they have 3 different personalities.

Babies 2 & 3 will NOT have the same temperament as baby #1.

It is possible to build up a child’s self-esteem, i.e. “Matt you look precious.” Her response: “I know.”

Just because they ate it as an infant/toddler, definitely does NOT mean they will eat it once they are old enough to verbalize their opinion.

The last child to get up will not necessarily be the last one ready to walk out the door.

Your schedule is just that – “Your schedule.” It is definitely not theirs.