This White Girl Ain't Got No Groove!!!

For those of you that do not know, I recently joined the gym. My first night, Blondie asked for a hug before I left. She then asked me where I was going. I told her I was going to work out. She looked at me and busted out laughing.

The other day, I came back from the gym, and the Wild Man asked me if I had worked out. I told him I had, and he asked me how much weight I had lost.

Last night, I was taking the 2 little ones with me to the gym and leaving them in child care. Comically enough, they thought I was “working at the gym,” – the gym at our church. LOL

So, last night I let a friend of mine convince me to go to a class called “Groove.” It is an exercise class that incorporates dance steps/moves. I tried to tell her there was a reason I was in flag corps – we didn’t need groove. She told me they didn’t “groove” in cheerleading back then, either. I went agreed to go.

I walk into the dimly lit class. I was trying to decide whether that was for “mood” or so that we didn’t notice each other’s fat rolls moving around. They had a curtain drawn over the mirror in the front of the room, which I really appreciated. I did not want to see myself looking like a clumsy idiot. So the instructor is this really cute, thin girl named Amber. We start off doing some easy steps, and I thought it might not be too bad. However, just about the time I got used to that step, she adds another one. Then she decides to teach us a different one. Then, she wants us to add arm movements. Sorry, but that wasn’t going to happen. It was hard enough thinking about where my feet were supposed to go. How in the heck could I think about the arm movements???

I quickly learned something VERY important. A sports bra is absolutely positively 100% necessary for this class. She taught us a move that involved jumping. I tried it once and after realizing my boobs just hit me in the chin decided I would just walk-out that move.

During the class, I look at the girl next to me and quickly decided she had either taken dancing or was trying to pretend she had. In between songs, I learned she had taken dancing for 20 yrs. I booted her off the back row and made her get in front of me, little twit!

After about the 3rd song or so, I wanted to ask Instructor Amber how old she was? She’s up there sweating and moving but not losing her breath. Twit! At one point she said we were going to like the next song. I loudly said: “Liar.”

I don’t remember ½ of those songs being that fast when I heard them on the radio years ago. I may be wrong, but I think she sped them up!

I’m still trying to decide if the issue was my lack of “groove,” or the excess poundage that was causing me some much grief during that class. I’m not sure, but I think I’m going to stick to the treadmill and weight machines. No groove required there…