You know you are standing at the top of the hill when...

I am heading "Over-The-Hill" this year. My best friend, will get there first, in February, and I will follow 4 months later. I am having a difficult time dealing with turning the big "4-0." However, as usual, I try to find the humor in it.

…To you, Salt ‘N Peppa is no longer just a 90’s rap duo, but the color of your hair;
…Your dream family car is no longer the Trans Am you said it would be when you were a teenager, but the ever-practical minivan;
…You feel for the sweet little old lady who has “fallen and [I] can’t get up,” and think having one of those devices is a good idea;
…It doesn’t matter how cute the shoes are, if they are not comfortable, you are NOT going to wear them;
…Laying down on the bed to zip your jeans is definitely NOT an option;
…Your hairstyle is no longer fashionable, but practical;
…You hear noises coming from different parts of your body, and never realized they were capable of such a thing;
…Your bras are no longer pretty, but functional, in order to help defy gravity;
…You think pretty panties are completely impractical;
…You cringe every time some young punk refers to you as “Ma’am;”
…Your dream man is no longer tall, dark and handsome, but easy on the eyes, gainfully employed, may (or may not) have hair and seems reasonably stable;
…You think President Bush is a rather nice-looking man, and not an old fart…

"I am blessed..."

"... I am blessed. From when I rise up in the morning, 'til I lay my head to rest..." It's so true. As down and lonesome as I get, I am constantly reminded that I am so blessed. I have three gorgeous kids, a wonderful mother, sweet brothers, a loving church family and so much more.

This Christmas, I was able to do slightly more for the kids. Then, I received a call from some friends at another church that were wanting to help a single mom - Me. I could not believe it. I told them just a little, and they went soooo wwwwaaayyy overboard. I went to the mailbox Christmas Eve morning, and someone had anonymously sent me a $50 Wal-Mart gift card. Then, as usual, I went to my best friend's parents' house for Christmas. I returned with 4 more presents per child. I cannot believe the blessings we receive, when I least expect them.

This was absolutely the best Christmas my kids have ever had. It gives me such joy to see how many people love us and care about us. Sometimes, I feel so undeserving. God constantly uses the people around me to remind me that He is here, and He cares. At times, it is overwhelming, and then, at other times, is it so subtle.

God truly sees each and every need and each and every want. He alway takes care of our needs, and at times also fulfills our wants. God truly is like our earthly father. Our earthly father's take care of our needs, and also fulfill some of our wants. We are all so blessed.

Bah, Humbug!

Okay, so I thought I would let you in on my thoughts with regard to Christmas music.

I am not very fond of it. Have you ever truly sat still and listened to the words of these songs? They are absolutely retarded! From the day after Thanksgiving, until the day after Christmas, I refuse to listen to my favorite station Christian station, they play Christmas music 24/7 for that month. UGH!!!! So, I am listening to streaming music from AFR (American Family Radio). However, I still get absolutely annoyed when they feel the need to throw in a Christmas song.

Think about the lines to “We Wish You a Merry Christmas…”

“Oh, bring us some Figgie pudding. Oh bring us some Figgie pudding.” What the heck is freakin’ Figgie pudding? Is that baby-talk for fig pudding? If so, who wants to eat that anyway. Besides, I think they sound a little demanding asking for it. "We won't go until we get some..." Can they say "Please?"

Also, think about “I’ll Be Home for Christmas.” “…please have snow and mistle toe, and presents on the tree.” Who the heck puts the flippin’ presents on the tree???

If the kid really did see “Mommy Kissing Santa Claus,” don’t you think he would have been traumatized, hated Santa, hated Christmas and possibly his mother? Besides, don’t you think he would have told his Dad, who then would have told him Santa Claus was not real? The kid would have been traumatized…

Now, what about "Deck the Halls?" I'm sorry, but I would prefer NOT to deck the halls with "boughs of holly." That stuff is pretty ding-dang prickly.

A bunch of lyrical geniuses…

Now, the traditional Christian Christmas songs, I LOVE! "Oh, Holy Night," "Silent Night," "Away in a Manger." Now those writers truly were lyrical geniuses...

Where is he???

So, I've been contemplating this dating thing - again. Can someone PLEASE tell me how/where/when a single Mother of 3 is supposed to find a nice, loving, CHRISTIAN man with morals and values?

I know God has that perfect man already chosen for me. I'm just getting really tired AND BORED waiting on him to arrive. I miss adult conversation (with someone besides my Mom). I miss having my own personal cheerleader, confidante and partner-in-crime. I miss having that person you have "inside jokes" with. That person who knows what your thinking. I miss the shoulder to cry on, the hand to hold. I miss the phone calls just because. I miss having that person that I can't wait to share my good news with, when I actually have some. I want that person that I KNOW I will be with for the rest of my life. I miss having that person that actually cares how my day was.

You must be wondering how I can be so lonesome with three kids to occupy my time. It's simple. Raising kids alone gives you plenty of time to be lonely. There is no one there to back you up on the discipline, there is no one there to bounce ideas off of, there is no one there to kiss ME goodnight. LOL At the end of the day, when they are all asleep, you realize you are there for everyone, but who is there for you???

So, if you see my Knight in Shining Armor, will you PLEASE tell him how to find me?????

Turkey Porn...

I thought I would share a little of the excitement I experiencced for Thanksgiving.

So, it's Thanksgiving morning, and I'm helping Mom cook. I get the pan and rack out for the turkey and begin to unwrap the bird. Imagine my surprise when I see this!!!! Not only was it camera worthy, but cell phone worthy, as well. LOL

I look at the bird... I look at Mom... We both look at the bird and go into absolute HYSTERICS. Then, I realize that the "wanker" (aka the neck) has to come out of the bird. So... I begin to pull. The ding-dang thing will not come out. I pull some more, and still no "wanker." I stick my hand up the turkey's butt, in an effort to break it free. Still... No luck. All the while, the "wanker" is beginning to thaw. By this point, I feel like I am molesting the turkey. It reminded me of the scene in the movie "Bachelor Party." Tom Hanks & his buddies sneak into the Chippendales club to pull a prank on his fiance's Mom. They have some dancer put his "thing" into a hot dog bun and watch from the side as she tries to pull it off the tray.

Next, I take the bird to the sink and begin running water through it's butt. It was sort of like giving it an enema. I then have to stink my hand back up it's rear end to pull the "wanker" out of the cavity. A couple of tugs and "VOILA!!!!!" I am standing in the middle of the kitchen holding onto the Porno Turkey's "wanker."

Obviously... I did not enjoy any baked turkey on Thanksgiving.

Finally...

Well, I finally finished getting everything moved out of the other house. Presently, Mom's garage looks like the site of a garage sale. LOL Now, I will spend the weekend going through all of the stuff and getting it organized. I will also be painting the kids' room and getting it ready to put their beds together.

There are some things I have learned through this move. First and foremost, we had WAY TOO MUCH STUFF!!!!! Second, it is all just "stuff." The more of it I went through, the less of the stuff I felt it was necessary to keep. Some people will be making some serious cash off the stuff I left on the side of the road.

Let me explain - While my sweet boy was moving some things out of my car and into the garage, he dropped the top off of one of my favorite teapots. It looks like a desk and the top is (was) a typewriter. I was at the grocery store, and he called me in tears to tell me what happened. He was so afraid I was going to be angry with him. It was in that very moment I realized it truly is just stuff. My kids are the most important "things" in my life. So what if a teapot gets broken. I have 3 gorgeous kids that I adore and that adore me. The "stuff" can be replaced... My kids can NEVER be replaced. So what if I am never able to replace that teapot. I would drop it and break it myself before I would let one of my kids think my stuff is more important.

As I sit here looking around my Mom's house at all of her stuff crammed into every nook and cranny, closet, drawer, cabinet, counter-top, etc., I wish I could make her understand this concept. It's just "stuff." The memories in your mind and in your heart are what matter. Those are the sentimental things that can NEVER be replaced. We are the ones that place sentimental value on things - such as the box from a watch my mother received when she was 12. Who cares if it came from your mother's brother's aunt's uncle's cousin's father. It is still just stuff...

Don't get me wrong, I do have a few items I keep because they hold a special place in my heart. I have an Indian Chief wall hanging that was my Dad's. I keep it because I remember all of the conversations we had coming up with names for it, i.e. Chief Constipation. I have his felt hat he would wear when it was cold outside. I still have the little wooden stove my grandfather made for me.

I have learned through numerous moves (call me a nomad) that it is always great to start fresh. It's a nice feeling to let go and get rid of the excess. It's kind of like when we let go of our burdens and turn them over to God. God allows us to start fresh, with the weight lifted and the useless stuff gone... Just as I attempt to make the amount of my "stuff" less and easier to carry, He makes the load lighter and easier to bear...