Turkey Porn...

I thought I would share a little of the excitement I experiencced for Thanksgiving.

So, it's Thanksgiving morning, and I'm helping Mom cook. I get the pan and rack out for the turkey and begin to unwrap the bird. Imagine my surprise when I see this!!!! Not only was it camera worthy, but cell phone worthy, as well. LOL

I look at the bird... I look at Mom... We both look at the bird and go into absolute HYSTERICS. Then, I realize that the "wanker" (aka the neck) has to come out of the bird. So... I begin to pull. The ding-dang thing will not come out. I pull some more, and still no "wanker." I stick my hand up the turkey's butt, in an effort to break it free. Still... No luck. All the while, the "wanker" is beginning to thaw. By this point, I feel like I am molesting the turkey. It reminded me of the scene in the movie "Bachelor Party." Tom Hanks & his buddies sneak into the Chippendales club to pull a prank on his fiance's Mom. They have some dancer put his "thing" into a hot dog bun and watch from the side as she tries to pull it off the tray.

Next, I take the bird to the sink and begin running water through it's butt. It was sort of like giving it an enema. I then have to stink my hand back up it's rear end to pull the "wanker" out of the cavity. A couple of tugs and "VOILA!!!!!" I am standing in the middle of the kitchen holding onto the Porno Turkey's "wanker."

Obviously... I did not enjoy any baked turkey on Thanksgiving.