I'm a lyrical genious!

Since, I have been publishing some pretty depressing posts, I decided to give you a taste of the lighter side of things. For those of you who do not know me very well, here's a look into my witty, dry, sarcastic sense of humor, and my talent for writing. LOL Please pardon any offensive language.

(to the tune of Farmer in the Dell)
I really hate my job.
I really hate my job.
My boss is an Ass Wipe.
I really hate my job.

He bitches & he gripes.
He bitches & he gripes.
My boss is an Ass Wipe.
I really hate my job.

I really hate my job.
I really hate my job.
Aaz Weepe’ won’t buy a microwave.
I really hate my job.

I treat my dog better than this.
I treat my dog better than this.
He doesn’t purchase writing utensils.
I really hate my job.
_____________________________

Hi, Ho. Hi, Ho.
I hate my job, you know.
We have no pens,
He’s a stupid man.
Hi, ho. Hi, ho. Hi, ho!

Hi, Ho. Hi, Ho.
I hate my job, you know.
No microwave.
It’s money he saves.
Hi, ho. Hi, ho. Hi, ho!

Hi, Ho. Hi, Ho.
I hate my job, you know.
My pay is crap.
That’s a wrap.
Hi, ho. Hi, ho. Hi, ho
__________________________
This poem was written the day I ran out of coffee at the office:
Oh, Coffee. Oh, Coffee.
Wherefore art thou, my beloved Coffee?
I miss thou comforting aroma.
I miss thou soothing color.
I miss thou in my coffee cup.

Oh, Coffee. Oh, Coffee.
Wherefore art thou, my beloved Coffee?
__________________________

Thoughts to ponder...

Now, here's a little look into how my mind works:

How come when we close a letter, we put “Sincerely,” “Sincerely yours,” “Very truly yours,” etc.? Are we really sincere, sincerely theirs or very truly theirs?

Why do they say dogs travel in a pack, livestock are herds and birds are flocks? Did the dogs, birds or livestock actually tell someone what their groups are called?

How come when we get off the phone we say “Good-bye,” “Bye, Bye,” or “Thank you?” Is “Bye” ever really good for both parties? Are we thankful for their help, or are we thankful they let us off the phone?

How come when we get paid we thank the management for the paycheck? I thought we were here to do a job and get paid. Why should we thank them for something we are owed?

Why do they call a softball a “soft-ball?” If you have ever been hit with one, you would know it’s not that “soft.” (Just ask Maggie - lol)

Why is it called a hot dog? They are not always hot, and they are not made from dog.

Why do they call it a drive thru? Our insurance would not be happy if we truly drove thru.

Why is it a hurricane in the US, but a cyclone in other parts of the world? It’s all the same damn thing – a lot of wind and water!

If you are divorced, your previous spouse is not an ex. If he were an ex, you could mark him out & he would be GONE!

If the kids on the bus truly go “Up & Down,” wouldn’t there have been a lawsuit filed by now?

Why is it called a “Live Oak?” Duh? What do you want, a “dead oak?”

If it’s a freeway, why is there a speed limit and why do we have to pay for a ticket. It’s a “Free-Way” and we should be free to go way over the speed limit.

Why is it called common sense? If it were common wouldn’t everyone have it?

As we get older, are we sure we should be brave enough to tell our friends “Happy Birthday?”

When you visit someone in the hospital, should we really say “Good bye?” Remember, “Bye” is not always good for both parties.