You know you are standing at the top of the hill when...

I am heading "Over-The-Hill" this year. My best friend, will get there first, in February, and I will follow 4 months later. I am having a difficult time dealing with turning the big "4-0." However, as usual, I try to find the humor in it.

…To you, Salt ‘N Peppa is no longer just a 90’s rap duo, but the color of your hair;
…Your dream family car is no longer the Trans Am you said it would be when you were a teenager, but the ever-practical minivan;
…You feel for the sweet little old lady who has “fallen and [I] can’t get up,” and think having one of those devices is a good idea;
…It doesn’t matter how cute the shoes are, if they are not comfortable, you are NOT going to wear them;
…Laying down on the bed to zip your jeans is definitely NOT an option;
…Your hairstyle is no longer fashionable, but practical;
…You hear noises coming from different parts of your body, and never realized they were capable of such a thing;
…Your bras are no longer pretty, but functional, in order to help defy gravity;
…You think pretty panties are completely impractical;
…You cringe every time some young punk refers to you as “Ma’am;”
…Your dream man is no longer tall, dark and handsome, but easy on the eyes, gainfully employed, may (or may not) have hair and seems reasonably stable;
…You think President Bush is a rather nice-looking man, and not an old fart…