Who is that person?

So, this morning, I get to work, with only 1/2 my make-up on, as usual. After the boss-man walks out, I go into the restroom to put on the mascara. I look at the person looking back at me from the mirror, and I think to myself "Who in the heck is that?There is absolutely NO WAY that can be me." I do not have that many wrinkles around my eyes. I mean, I KNEW I had grey hair. I've had grey hair since my 20's. What is the deal with the right eyelid starting to droop a little bit. When in the HECK did that happen (now all of you will be staring at it to see if it really is drooping, LOL). What about the ding-dang frown lines? Gees, when I smile, there are even wrinkles around the dimple on my left cheek. What is up with this?

Turning 39 this summer was quite difficult. Every birthday finds me reflecting back on my life, and I truly hate what I see. When you're divorced, your life is categorized like this: (1) Before I was married; (2) While I was married; and (2) Since the divorce.

(1) Before I was married - I was the strong, independent type. I had a new car every three years (just before the warranty ran out), I had my own home and a well-paying job.
(2) While I was married - I was a loving/doting wife & mother, the picture-perfect stay-at-home Mom, and not to mention a fabulous cook and housekeeper.
(3) Since the divorce - I have fallen on my backside, time after time. I am now an overweight, grey-haired, wrinkled, single, working mother with 3 young children. Among my accomplishments are: ???? I'll come back to this one. LOL

The other day, Matt handed me a picture of myself from just about 3 yrs ago. I thought I was going to cry. I hardly recognized myself. I was smiling and truly happy. Where did that person in the picture go? Where is that smile? Where is that happiness? I think they are buried beneath the mountains of dirty laundry, the baskets of clean laundry, dirty dishes, messy bedrooms and piles of bills. Replacing that smile and happiness are the stress of providing for three children, trying to make sure there is enough of me for all of them, trying to juggle our finances (or lack thereof) in order to get everything paid, the grief from the death of what used-to-be, the loneliness and the hectic schedule and routine I now enforce alone. I am downright determined to find that person again. BTW - does anyone know a plastic surgeon that will get rid of the wrinkles, for free. LOL

Now, back to my accomplishments. I have been blessed to raise three GORGEOUS children, that I absolutely adore. I have taught them sarcasm, to be goofy, sensitive, playful, loving and kind. They are 3 unique individuals, with 3 distinct personalities. They may not always mind me, but they are almost always respectful and polite to others.